I have this theory that (some) men (and women) are born with the difficulty of understanding what "No" means. That, or they are just very persistent. It could also be that they are not really listening, and simply want to have things their way.
Well, if you're in for some harsh truth, welcome to Rejection 101.
1. What does "No" mean?
According to Merriam-Webster, "No" can be defined as a noun - "a negative vote or decision" or for the purposes of this entry, it could also be an adverb - "not so -- used to express negation, dissent, denial, or refusal".
2. Could it mean something else?
This is a trick question. As I cannot speak for everybody, I shall answer this in the simplest and most honest way that I know: Yes, but not all the time. You see, the key is having what we refer to as "a little sensitivity".
If you know the person you're dealing with, or at least have established the basics of getting-to-know (a friend, a teamate at work, a neighbor), then you ought to know when the person might mean something else when he/she says "No." Otherwise, take enough time to know and just rely on what is given to you. If the answer is No, then it most probably means No (please refer to no.1).
3. Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
Now, this is not as easy as it may seem. What we could do is to make sure that we're in the same context as the person we're talking to. Again, that's not a piece of cake (especially when you're dealing with people who don't have a clue themselves). But whoever said this was easy, right?
4. Take things as they are.
If No.3 is about giving, this is more for the receiving end. Simplify your life. Don't read too much into things. (And now,I wonder: pano na yung mga "what if" sessions natin? Hahaha.)
5. Clarify, if you wish.
It is okay to ask when things are unclear to you. But remember: once is enough, twice is a shame, thrice is a crime.
6. Know when to stop.
Like in any goal-oriented activity, you should set a sort of deadline for yourself. Time is gold, as they say, and it is upto you to use/waste on waiting, moping, or fooling around.
7. Everything's in black-and-white (You wish).
There will always be gray areas in life. Some say that these are where the excitement comes from - the idea of not knowing. But I believe that discovering is much more fun than guessing. Choose your adventure wisely.
8. Learn to accept.
Acceptance, for me, is the enactment of humility. As only those who are humble enough are able to accept, without questions if (humanly) possible.
9. Grow up.
This could be the summary of this whole entry. People who are "mature enough" would know better than to blame everybody except themselves when they are rejected. Something painful or difficult as rejection could serve as a lesson. Maybe something better will come for you. Prepare for it. Do better next time.
10. Move on.
As cliche as it may seem: Rejection is not the end of the world. Don't dwell on negative things too much. They will only drive you crazy. I reiterate the last part of No.9: Maybe something better will come for you. Prepare for it. Do better next time.
Friday, April 13, 2007
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
SYJHTSU (Sometimes You Just Have To Shut Up)
I left with an ugly-looking rash on the right-side of my mouth. I haven't had enough sleep for days. I crammed for our last paper and for the finals the day before. The 3 hours of brisk hand-writing (Professor's instruction: Write legibly. I give very low points for answers I can't read.) for the final exam didn't help. I was in no mood at all, especially for the stares at the airport. I screamed in my head: Screw you people! My cousins said I looked like a terrorist with the face mask and the dark eyeglasses (that comes with pointing while laughing their heads off at me). Haha. Funny.
My mood relaxed a bit upon landing on the Busuanga airport. I say 'a bit' coz the 2-hour dusty rough road to Salvacion triggered the not-so-happy me again. I was at my breaking point. I got bitchier by the micro-second. Oh, and did I mention that the doctor said I had to refrain from eating seafood for a while because of my infection? Great. Palawan without seafood. Just great.
I was surprised to find the world painted in a different shade the next day. And I mean literally. The sky was bluish gray at 5:00AM (Yes, I woke up around this time for the rest of my vacation), and it slowly changed to a mixture of red, orange, pink and yellow. The moonset was beautiful. Its parallelism with the sunrise on the other side of the island was breathtaking. I found myself ranting less as the days went by. I slept better (and earlier! weeeeeeeeeee!). I ate slower. I smiled more.
Everything was timely, as it was holy week. Time for reflection, as the elders say. I reflected in my own way - a little different from the usual prayerful means that my Mom expects us to be in. We went to a lot of beaches - one island per day. My cousins and I were in our "skimpy bikinis". How in the world are we going to be prayerful in those outfits? Huh. You tell me. But you see, amidst all the antics, the crazy fun while swimming, snorkeling and picture-taking, all of us will fall quiet. For a long time. In our own time. It's as if we knew when to keep quiet, and not to bother each other. We just sat on the powdery white sand, and stared at the wonderfulness that surrounded us. We took in all the beauty that we can - from the countless white-sand beaches in the islands nearby, to the vast blue waters, to the bright sky, to the yellow and black cardinals. We did that, even by the pool at the resthouse. Stared at a distance. Sighed in awe. Thanked the Lord for the blessings of family, beauty and relaxation time on top of peace and quiet.
The 6 days in Palawan was more than a vacation to me. It was a renewing experience. It reminded me that sometimes, you just have to shut up. I hope the Lord understands that we simply had to do it in our bikinis.
My mood relaxed a bit upon landing on the Busuanga airport. I say 'a bit' coz the 2-hour dusty rough road to Salvacion triggered the not-so-happy me again. I was at my breaking point. I got bitchier by the micro-second. Oh, and did I mention that the doctor said I had to refrain from eating seafood for a while because of my infection? Great. Palawan without seafood. Just great.
I was surprised to find the world painted in a different shade the next day. And I mean literally. The sky was bluish gray at 5:00AM (Yes, I woke up around this time for the rest of my vacation), and it slowly changed to a mixture of red, orange, pink and yellow. The moonset was beautiful. Its parallelism with the sunrise on the other side of the island was breathtaking. I found myself ranting less as the days went by. I slept better (and earlier! weeeeeeeeeee!). I ate slower. I smiled more.
Everything was timely, as it was holy week. Time for reflection, as the elders say. I reflected in my own way - a little different from the usual prayerful means that my Mom expects us to be in. We went to a lot of beaches - one island per day. My cousins and I were in our "skimpy bikinis". How in the world are we going to be prayerful in those outfits? Huh. You tell me. But you see, amidst all the antics, the crazy fun while swimming, snorkeling and picture-taking, all of us will fall quiet. For a long time. In our own time. It's as if we knew when to keep quiet, and not to bother each other. We just sat on the powdery white sand, and stared at the wonderfulness that surrounded us. We took in all the beauty that we can - from the countless white-sand beaches in the islands nearby, to the vast blue waters, to the bright sky, to the yellow and black cardinals. We did that, even by the pool at the resthouse. Stared at a distance. Sighed in awe. Thanked the Lord for the blessings of family, beauty and relaxation time on top of peace and quiet.
The 6 days in Palawan was more than a vacation to me. It was a renewing experience. It reminded me that sometimes, you just have to shut up. I hope the Lord understands that we simply had to do it in our bikinis.
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