Childhood Frustrations

My mother said something to me once, and it stuck to me. She said, "Kaya ka ganyan ngayon kasi nung bata ka, hindi ka bata e." She was referring to my being makulit and mababaw. I was "Weee!"-ing over ice cream while clapping my hands when she said that. In my mind, I retorted, "Well, I've decided that I want to stay young at heart, what's wrong with that?"

Being the pensive me, I pondered more about my childhood. I remember being happy. But I also remember when I stopped being a child. When all of a sudden, life became unfair, sad and serious. And now, I thought about all of the things that I wanted back then, but never had. Here are some...

1. I wanted a doll house. Like other girls, I wanted my Barbie dolls to live, cook and party in pink and white houses, too.

2. I wanted to be a ballerina. I just thought how ballet-dancing was so beautiful and graceful. And of course, I wanted to wear those skin tight leotards with the fluffy skirts.

3. I wanted to be Little Miss Philippines. I thought how wonderful it would be to show-off my talents on TV, like all those little girls, with my Mom standing in the audience - mouthing the right answers to Tito Joey's questions. Every year, I'd longingly ask my Mom if it was the year that I'd join. My friends laugh their hearts out when I tell them about this. But I won't deny that I cried myself to sleep when I turned past the contest's allowed age.

4. I wanted cute girly stuff on Christmas. I envy my cousins after we've opened our gifts and I see their stockings, toy make-ups, little purses with stars on them, clips and headbands. All I got were books.

5. This may be a surprise, but I wanted to play basketball. Yes, you read it right. I wasn't all about kakikayan before 16, that's for sure (Hehe..). I grew up in a house with 3 boys as playmates - my brother and my two cousins. All they played with were matchboxes, G.I. Joes, tex and basketball. I used to watch when they played hoops. Gusto ko talagang sumali, pero...babae ako e. :-/

I had a good deal of fun as a child. And even if I wanted to go back, I know it isn't possible. Buti na lang pwedeng mangarap...malay natin, isang araw matuto rin akong mag-basketball. ;)